Do You Have A Healthy Relationship With Food?
Filed Under: Intuitive Eating
3 February 2017 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
When we think about our relationship with food, we tend to focus on WHAT we are eating. A healthy relationship with food is not just about what we eat but also WHY and WHEN and HOW we eat.
The main causes of an unhealthy relationship with food are:
- Diets, restrictive eating and choosing to eliminate food groups for non-health reasons.
- Body dissatisfaction and negative body image.
- Emotions – from trauma to stress to mild emotional discomfort.
- Physical discomfort and pain.
- Environmental factors such as lack of food, people, places and the weather.
Here are some common characteristics of a healthy relationship with food and eating:
- Hunger is the main reason you eat, you listen to your body for hunger signals and that is your cue to eat. Although you will sometimes eat for non-hunger reasons.
- You don’t obsess about the foods you can or can’t eat, what you ate the day before or will eat later.
- You don’t promise yourself you will be “good” at eating the next day.
- You don’t judge yourself as “good” or “right” for eating certain foods and “bad” for eating other foods.
- You enjoy and take pleasure in eating many different foods.
- You don’t constantly calculate calories, points, carbs or use apps to decide if you can “afford” to eat something or not.
- You generally do not cut out food groups (unless for serious health reasons eg: diabetes, celiac disease, high cholesterol) .
- You stop eating at a comfortable point. Sometimes you eat till full or overfull but it’s most often at social gatherings or religious holidays.
- You are able to leave food on your plate without the urge to finish it. You may feel a bit of guilt for wasting food but you usually stop eating before you feel completely uncomfortable.
- You may reward yourself with food occasionally but not regularly.
- You may eat emotionally occasionally but mostly you have other means to cope with difficult emotions and situations other than by eating.
- You have breaks when you are not thinking about food and there are intervals about 3 – 6 times a day when you feel physically hungry and take pleasure in eating.
- You don’t feel guilt and shame about eating certain foods or overeating.
- You don’t eat because you are scared you may be hungry later or as Geneen Roth says “eating for the hunger to come”.
- You eat in full view of other people regardless of what you are eating.
- You see food as food – a source of fuel for your body and a source of pleasure. Food is not seen as a friend or an enemy.
- You are relaxed when there is a lot of food available: eg social gatherings, on holiday, at buffets. You don’t turn invitations down because of food.
- You feel happy and content with life when you are not eating. Eating is not your primary source of pleasure and there are other things in your life that bring you joy.
- You don’t criticise yourself for eating certain foods or for overeating.
- You move your body because it feels good and you enjoy movement and you don’t use exercise as punishment for overeating or for permission to eat later.
- Sometimes you under eat and wish there was more food but you can let it go. If a meal is unsatisfying you are able to move on and not compensate later.
- Your approach to food is flexible and you trust your body and yourself around food.
If this does not sound like you, don’t despair! We are not meant to be perfect eaters, that doesn’t exist! There may be aspects that you already do, but you can (with time, patience and practice) change your relationship with food. I would recommend by starting with 2 books: Intuitive Eating by Elyse Reych and Evelyn Tribole and Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays.
May you be well.
May you feel free around food.
May you eat with pleasure and joy.
May you accept your body with love.
Xen