Lessons From My Dog
Filed Under: Intuitive Eating
11 February 2022 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
In early December I lost my beloved Labrador after 14 years of pure love, devotion and constant companionship. He was a gift from a dear friend on my daughter’s 4th birthday and it didn’t take long for him to become my gift. His name was Scuro, which means dark brown in Greek and Italian. Scuro had a healthy appetite, I am not sure what he loved more – food or walks? They say dogs resemble their owners, in many ways his relationship with food was like mine in my dreaded dieting days. He would inhale his food. There was never enough. When I was cooking, he would be at my feet in the hope something would drop on the floor. It’s almost like he believed that the closer he was to me, the greater the chances I would give him little bits. I simply couldn’t resist his droopy brown eyes. At meals he was at the table sniffing on the floor. He would beg and plead with his eyes. When Scuro was 6, Chiara joined us, my daughter wanted her “own” dog, since Scuro had become mine. Despite Scuro’s love for Chiara, he would try and steal her food. He hated it if she got treats before he did. He would bully her out the away and eat his bowl and hers. As loving as he was, when it came to food, he was…obsessed. Poor Chiara would have to rush to her food in the morning to ensure that she was not deprived of a meal.
Who could resist those eyes?
Since Scuro has left us I’ve noticed how Chiara’s relationship with food has changed. She eats much slower. She’s not in a rush to eat in the morning. Sometimes she leaves pellets in her bowl. It’s a very “take it or leave it” approach. She prefers early morning walks to eating. She’s not so fixated on treats. It seems like she’s more secure around food. Observing the change in her eating got me thinking about our relationship with food. Chiara’s eating was so strongly influenced by Scuro. How is our relationship with food influenced by those around us?
I thought back to my early years of marriage. I had to eat the same amount as my husband. At restaurants, I would order as much as he would, for fear of being deprived and not getting my share. There needed to be an equal distribution regardless of how hungry I was. When I was on diet, I resented the fact that he could eat whatever he wanted. I felt panicky around special treats, for fear he would get to them before me and there would be none left. I would eat whether I wanted to or not. Fear of missing out determined most of my eating.
Waking me up for breakfast.
It was years later, when I stopped dieting, that I could see the impact that years of deprivation had on my relationship with food. That scarcity mindset was triggered by rules and restriction. Looking at Chiara now, she’s so much more relaxed around food because she knows it will be there for her. When I started learning to embrace Intuitive Eating and I knew I was free to eat what I wanted, it reduced my scarcity mindset around food. One thing I know for sure, is that recovering from food insecurity is through allowing food not restricting it.
So, thinking about this, here are some reflections:
- How is your relationship with food influenced by the people (or lack of people) around you?
- Do you eat differently when there are people around?
- How do you eat when you are alone?
- How do people influence your choice of foods?
- Would you eat differently if it were entirely up to you?
- How has dieting and restriction impacted your relationship with food?
🐶 Ready to make 2022 the year where eating is stress-free and you feel relaxed and safe around all foods? Book a free 30-minute session and let’s talk about how we can make this happen.
May we all learn to feel relaxed and free around food.
Wishing you well,
Xen
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