7 Tools To Help You Eat With Ease This Thanksgiving

25 November 2024 | Written by Dominic

Thanksgiving Pumpkin Jan Luca

Artwork by Jan Luca

The holiday season is beginning with Thanksgiving this week. Holidays can be joyful and they can also be complicated, if you struggle with your relationship with food, there is an additional layer of complications. The message we get from diet culture is to “be good” and stick to the plan and resist the pie.

There is another way to approach food and eating in the holidays. The mindful eating way, which is a gentler, kinder way. Here are some common obstacles when it comes to eating with ease in the holidays and strategies on how to overcome these challenges.

Thanksgiving: the build-up and anticipation

Before Thanksgiving there can be a lot of drama, discussion and worrying ahead of time about how you are going to handle the day.
This is a time of reflection and a time for connection. Think about the meaning of this time and create an intention. Is it to connect with family and friends in a meaningful way? Is it to connect spiritually? Is it to get through this time with grace and ease? Life may be challenging at the moment and it’s also okay if you are finding it hard to feel grateful. Ask yourself what is the most important thing about Thanksgiving this year? Let that be your guiding light.

The sheer abundance of food and variety of dishes

There are special foods available this time of the year. Has restricting these foods worked for you? Give up the rules and diet mentality. Let go of forbidden foods. There is a middle way between restricting and overeating, where you eat what you want until you feel comfortable. Allow yourself to enjoy your favourite foods this year by giving yourself permission to eat what you truly like.

Remember, you can never have enough of what YOU DON’T WANT. So give yourself what you DO want. If you give yourself freedom and choice, then it’s not about “being in control” it’s about being in charge of your food.

If you eliminate these foods or restrict, chances are greater that you will binge or eat to the point of discomfort. It may feel scary but try to allow yourself to have these foods. Be selective and discerning. If there are foods available all year around, rather choose the foods that are more unusual or more difficult to find. You can always go buy the other foods next week, but the homemade pumpkin pie made may be harder to come by! If the only thing you want to eat is potatoes and pumpkin pie, then eat that and enjoy it.

Fear of Missing Out

The reason we fear missing out on food is because we want to taste everything. Choose what you truly want and have it without guilt (I know this isn’t always easy) and with as much enjoyment as possible. Reality is that you will probably miss out on something. Can you notice your urge to eat out of fear of missing out and be gentle with yourself? Remember you have a choice. You can eat everything and lots of it and not miss out on any of the foods. How are you going to feel after that? You would be missing out on feeling good in your body. There is no right or wrong here – it’s a choice – the question is how would you like to feel at the end of the meal? And feeling full or overfull is okay. As long as you don’t beat yourself up about it! Remind yourself – you can eat whatever you want, how are you going to feel afterwards?

Eating to please the host and dealing with food pushers

There are many ways to show appreciation to your host other than by eating to the point of discomfort. Express thanks and gratitude. Acknowledge all the hard work and preparation it must have taken. Compliment your hosts, ask for the recipe, offer to help. A simple “No thank you” or “I couldn’t possibly eat more of this delicious food. I will feel so uncomfortable it will spoil my meal” is also enough.

Expectations and challenging emotions

Hollywood makes it difficult not to have expectations of a perfect Thanksgiving. Remember no family is perfect. Most families have a level of dysfunction. It’s completely normal to have complicated feelings during this season. This year, could you let go of the fantasy of “how it should be” and try to allow it to be “as it is”? Not everyone will behave or show up as you would like. Pain, conflict, drama, joy, happiness, it is all part of it. The drama and the joy will pass. When presented with a difficult emotion or situation – know that it will pass. Practise the “Power of the Pause” – pause before eating or reacting.

Many of us experience social anxiety and we also feel anxious about being with family. Treat your anxiety kindly, expecting her to visit. Recognise her and ask her “what do you need right now?” or “anxiety, what would you like me to know?” The more we resist anxiety the bigger it becomes. An act of self-care could be to plan ahead for potentially anxious moments by identifying a calming activity you can do or a person you can speak to. Having a ready plan can help you navigate anxiety as it arises.

All or nothing thinking

Very often it’s our thinking that triggers us and not the food! Be mindful of your thoughts…

🦃 It’s a holiday so I am just going to eat and be good on Monday!
🦃 I’ve blown it already so I might as well carry on.
🦃 But everyone else is eating.
🦃 Who cares!

Every meal is an opportunity to practise, learn and start again. Learn from the previous meal and apply it to the next. We are aiming for progress NOT perfection – imperfect action in the right direction creates momentum towards a more peaceful relationship with food.

Body Dissatisfaction

Our relationship with food is closely linked to how we feel about our bodies. When we don’t like our bodies and we try to change them, it often creates dysfunction with food. Can you accept the body you have for this Thanksgiving? No matter the size of your body, your weight, your level of pain, your body’s limitations, it may be difficult to love your body but can you try to accept it as it is now?

Food during the holidays is a celebration, a coming together, connection and creating of memories. My hope is that it will be this way for you.

May you eat with ease, joy and pleasure this Thanksgiving.

All my best,
Xen

🍂 Are you tired of feeling helpless and hopeless with food? Book a free 30 minute session and let’s explore how coaching can help you feel more at peace with food and your body.

🍂 Check out How to Handle Eating in the Holidays! It’s short, easy and manageable. You’ll feel more calm and peaceful around all the food and festivities.

Special mention

I am grateful to Jan Luca for allowing me to use her beautiful image, it’s a photo of a painting on fabric using intense ink pencils and then quilted. Jan has been creative all her life, first with music then stained glass art and now art quilting. Jan is a subscriber to my newsletter and has struggled with food. If you enjoy art and nature follow Jan on Instagram at @Jan.Chard.5

If you have a special talent, share your work with me, let’s support each other!

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“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating