Am I Hungry?

Filed Under: Intuitive Eating

18 August 2023 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

Diet culture presents hunger as an enemy. In the world of dieting, hunger is an inconvenience, something to overcome. When we are dieting or following rules, we disconnect from our body because “the plan” dictates how many calories, points, grams we are “allowed” to eat regardless of hunger. In reality, hunger is your body’s way of communicating a basic need for survival. Hunger is necessary for life. It’s not something to be avoided or feel ashamed of and if you consistently ignore your hunger you are depriving your body of the energy it needs from food. Eventually your body will be so deprived that it will be difficult to stop eating even when your stomach is full. Learning to honour hunger signals helps to rebuild trust with yourself and with your body. It’s the one of the most powerful tools that can help you heal your relationship with food.

Your body has an innate wisdom that will tell you when to eat, how much to eat and sometimes even, what to eat.

But if only it was as simple as this.

Many of us are born with this ability but our conditioning, dieting and restricting our food disconnects us from our bodies. In my dieting days I only knew starving or stuffed. I was completely unaware of the nuances of pleasant or gentle hunger. When I was “off” a diet, I avoided hunger – it terrified me. When I was “on” a diet, I would praise myself for enduring hunger and use dieting tools like drinking soda to numb my hunger. Many of my clients feel the same way about hunger and eat in anticipation of hunger. Often clients tell me they don’t know when they’re hungry. Signs of hunger can be experienced in different ways in the body.

Here are some signals your body gives you when it wants to let you know it needs to be fed.

Physical

There is a sense of emptiness in your stomach that can be accompanied by a whisper, a growl or a rumble depending on your level of hunger. There could also be a sensation in your throat or your mouth may salivate. You may have a headache when you are hungry.

Mood

You may experience being “hangry” or an irritability and crankiness. You might find it hard to concentrate. You could also experience low energy or feel depleted.

Mind

When the body is hungry it tries to get our attention in a variety of ways, from physical sensations to mood and energy to thoughts about food, exploring options of what would taste good to eat.

We are all unique when to comes to how we experience hunger. As a general guideline, when we eat when we are hungry, we feel better after we’ve eaten – our energy increases, as does our ability to focus.

Hunger isn’t static, your hunger signals will change depending on many factors such as how much you’ve slept, your level of activity and how much you’ve eaten in previous days. If you are very busy or stressed, it’s more difficult to connect to your hunger cues. We become so task oriented that we ignore or suppress our hunger. Smoking and drinking lots of coffee or tea can also disrupt hunger cues.

Getting to know how you experience hunger is not a perfect science, there is no right or wrong way. When practicing honouring your hunger, it’s useful to be curious and to tune into your body, looking out for the signs. It’s also important to acknowledge that some of us have a lower tolerance for hunger than others. Non-hunger eating is perfectly normal, sometimes we will eat because it looks good or the taste is appealing or for purely practical reasons. In the early stages of Intuitive Eating, the principle of honouring your hunger is very often turned into the “I can only eat when I’m hungry” rule. Sometimes you will eat when you are not hungry and that’s okay. However, if you are consistently eating when you’re not hungry, you may want to examine if you are getting enough sleep, eating enough during the day and if you are eating in calm environment. Also, how you are managing your stress levels.

Recognising how YOU experience hunger in YOUR body is an important step in connecting with your body. When we listen to our hunger, we reconnect to our bodies and this enables us to rebuild trust with ourselves and with our bodies, one meal at time and one bite at a time.

I would love to hear from you and how you experience hunger.

May you learn to befriend and listen to your hunger.

Wishing you well,
Xen

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating