Blogs About 'Change'
The One Surprising Tool, To Help With Your Eating
Filed Under: Change
Do you often find yourself judging your food choices or feeling guilty about your eating habits? Do you blame yourself for the diets and eating plans you’ve followed and stopped? I used to think I wasn’t judging myself, until I became aware of the running commentary in my mind. Maybe you've also noticed a constant inner dialogue? "Why did I eat that?" “I can’t believe I’ve gained that weight back again!” "I should have resisted the urge to snack..." "I feel so ashamed” "Why...
Set Your Vision For 2024
Filed Under: Change
I believe each year has its joys and its sorrows. Each year has both ease and difficulty, happiness and sadness, success and failure to varying degrees. What if, for this coming year we could be open to receive it as it comes? Not resist, not fear, not expect, but simply allow. Our task is to find a relationship to the way things are in each moment. Can we find the courage to surrender to what will be? Accept the joys. Accept the sorrows. Let go of the old and whatever is not...
Celebrate
Filed Under: Change
I have some exciting news to share with you all! After two years of intense training, I am now a certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher. I am expanding my practice of Mindful and Intuitive eating to include general mindfulness. It has been a transformative journey and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to study under Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach, two of the most esteemed teachers of mindfulness in the world. During the course of the training, I was deeply inspired by the teachings and...
How to Make Peace With Uncertainty and Navigate Anxious Times
Filed Under: Change
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is the fear of the unknown.” — H.P. Lovecraft — Many people are struggling right now. Some countries are entirely locked down, others are partially in lockdown. We are in a state of huge uncertainty which triggers anxiety and fear. My inbox is flooded with COVID-19 emails. Everyone is sending out more and more stuff, some useful, some not. It feels overwhelming. As Pema Chodron says in...
20 Questions As We Enter 2020
Filed Under: Change
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” — Zora Neale Hurston — A new decade. A new year. A new chapter in life waiting to be lived. 365 mornings full of potential and possibilities. 365 nights to rest and restore. Fifty-two weeks of joys and challenges. Twelve months. Four seasons. Here are 20 questions to ask yourself as we enter 2020... Download a worksheet with these questions here. Reflecting on 2019, without judgement,...
Welcoming the New Year
Filed Under: Change
“The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book waiting to be written.” — Melody Beattie — The New Year is upon us. I am sure you have experienced how short-lived New Year’s resolutions can be? Instead of resolutions, I like to start each year by reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the New Year, setting intentions as a guiding compass. As you enter 2019, take a moment to sit quietly and reflect on an intention for the year ahead. Endings...
Spring Is In The Air
Filed Under: Change
Spring has officially arrived in the southern Hemisphere, the days are longer, the jasmine is blooming and everything is coming alive. Many years back, in my dieting days, when spring arrived I would scramble to find my new diet and exercise regime to get my body “right” for summer. The cycle of hating my body thinner would begin. By hating my body enough, I thought I could deprive myself into that ideal “summer bikini body”. There are many ways I did this and maybe you recognise some...
How to Tame the Diabolical Trio
Filed Under: Change
“We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses” ~ Carl Jung In last week’s blog I spoke about the Diabolical Trio - our inner critic*, inner perfectionist* and inner pusher*. If you missed out on that blog - you can read it here. In this blog, let’s look at how to tame these inner voices. No - it’s not with a whip! First of all, acknowledge that our inner perfectionist, inner critic and inner pusher aren’t all that bad - they just...
The Diabolical Trio: Part I
Filed Under: Change
Who are the diabolical trio? They are like the 3 ugly stepsisters in Cinderella or The Three Wicked Witches of the West... Sadly they are not fairy tale caricatures, but inner voices in our head that create misery and despair! I know them intimately - they lived in my head for many years and they still pop in to visit more often than I would like! The first of the trio is Perfectionista a.k.a The Inner Perfectionist*. She looks around and searches for her ideal vision of perfection... What...
Disappointment
Filed Under: Change
Lately so many of my conversations with my clients have been around disappointment. Past and future disappointment. So, for the purposes of this blog let's define disappointment as the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Reflecting on my own disappointments led me to think that we do more to avoid the discomfort of disappointment than we do to gain the pleasure of accomplishment. So often we don’t set out to achieve something we really...
How To Overcome Instant Gratification
Filed Under: Change
One of my favourite blogs is Zenhabits by Leo Babuata. Today I would like to share with you his blog on A Brief Guide to Overcome Instant Gratification... It’s no secret that we live in the age of instant gratification. That’s not news. But Paul Roberts has written an excellent essay at The American Scholar looking at the breadth of this phenomena on our society — it’s a must read. A sample quote from Roberts’ essay: ‘The notion of future consequences, so essential to our development...
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“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”
“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”
“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”
“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”
“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”
“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”
“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”
“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”
“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”
“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”
