Hating Yourself Does Not Lead To Change
Filed Under: Body Acceptance
2 October 2014 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
Often my new clients come to me and believe that if they accept their body and are kind to themselves this will lead to more eating, laziness and a lack of action. They believe that change only happens if they are hard on themselves.
So often I hear: “But if I accept my overweight body, I will never be able to change it.”
This is simply not true. Ever.
My standard response to this statement is:
“You cannot hate or bully yourself thinner”
(Actually you can, I used to do that, but the weight just came back on again and worse than that, I felt permanently awful!)
In fact, bullying yourself and hating yourself are just forms of self-indulgence.
I believe that the only way to change is self acceptance and self compassion. So let’s look at the difference between self-indulgence and self compassion…
These are the common signs of self indulgence:
- Saying yes when you mean no
- Judging, hating and blaming yourself
- Not asking for help when you need it
- Behaving in any way that is destructive towards yourself
- Denying your needs
What is self compassion?
- Accepting your limitations and imperfections
- Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes
- Protecting yourself from internal and external critics
- Asking for help when you need it
- Identifying and meeting your needs: when hungry, eat and when tired, rest
- Telling the truth
What are you doing? Are you ready to try a more compassionate way to change your eating habits and critical internal dialogue?
Remember, be kind to yourself!
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