Filed Under: Holiday Eating
19 December 2023 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
One of my favourite festive tunes is Andy Williams’ “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”.
Yes, it can be. But for many people who have food and body image challenges, it’s difficult to “be of good cheer” when food is stressful. “When friends come to call” – deciding what to eat or not eat – is tough. “Parties for hosting” and “marshmallows for toasting” can be a nightmare. Food and the festive season are fraught with anxiety and guilt for so many of us.
If you experience food guilt in the holidays, you are not alone. It’s very common, especially if you have a history of dieting and restricting foods. Food guilt can be damaging to our mental and emotional well-being. We think that if we feel guilty, it will lead to behavioural changes, but often the opposite is true. A study done in 2015 shows that people who felt guilty about eating chocolate cake were more likely to overeat cake than people who viewed eating cake as a celebration. The festive season is a time of celebration and food is a part of it, so how do we navigate this?
Here are four tips to help you drop food guilt in the holidays:
Ditch the food rules
If you have food rules and deny yourself certain foods, it leads to feelings of deprivation. Feeling like you are missing out will fuel cravings and a preoccupation with food, which often triggers out-of-control eating. I remember trying to make up for “bad” eating by being stricter, and that would inevitably lead to more eating. Instead of using your energy to enforce stricter rules, could you channel it into overcoming guilt? If it feels hard to ditch the food rules, at least go easy on the rules!
Reflection:
Do food rules serve you?
How do these rules impact the way you eat?
Examine your beliefs about food
What are your judgements about food? Do certain foods fall into “bad” categories and some into “good”? When we categorise food as “bad”, we believe we are doing something wrong and that causes us to feel guilty. Labelling food “good” or “bad” assigns a moral value. When you eat something labelled as “wrong”, how do you eat it?
Do you savour it or wolf it down?
Do you eat it in front of others or do you eat it secretly?
Pay attention to how you talk about food, using words like ‘indulgence’, ‘cheat’ or ‘sinful’ adds to guilty feelings.
Reflection:
How would it feel to let go of morality around food?
How would viewing food as neutral change the way you eat?
“All foods are morally neutral”
— Dr Rick Kausman —
Awareness and Curiosity
Pay attention to why you are feeling guilty. Is it the type of food? The amount of food? Bring awareness to how you feel before, during and after you eat. When you are focused on how guilty you feel for making certain food choices you miss out on valuable insights about your relationship with food. Judgement keeps us stuck. Awareness and curiosity help us develop trust with our body.
Reflection:
What thoughts and feelings do you notice when you eat?
How does your body feel when you eat certain foods?
Permission
Letting go of food guilt is a practice. It takes time and patience. It starts with giving yourself permission to let go of guilt. If it’s more difficult with highly charged foods, then start with easier foods. It can be helpful to remember that food is a source of nourishment AND a source of pleasure and that they can co-exist. You can eat both kale and cookies! Pleasure and peace with food is healthy!
Reflection:
How do you feel when you don’t allow eating for fun?
How would it feel to allow yourself to experience joy and pleasure from food?
If you struggle with feeling guilty around food in the holidays, here is a Feeling Guilty Around Food meditation to help you.
With love and gratitude to you as you move through the final days of this year. May you nourish and care for yourself in all the ways you need.
Xen
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