The Gifts of Pleasure
Filed Under: Mindful Eating
30 July 2021 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
One of the very nicest things about life is that “we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating”.
Luciano Pavarotti
One of our basic gifts is the pleasure we get from the simple act of eating. Sadly, in our culture, many people experience guilt when what they eat is pleasurable – heard the phrase “guilty pleasures”?
When someone tells us what to eat, how much to eat and when to eat, we lose touch with what we truly want and what is pleasurable. And we lose connection with ourselves.
In a session with a client last week, she shared that she doesn’t know what she wants to eat. She’s followed rules for so many years, she’s not in touch with her likes and dislikes anymore. When we’ve never been given choice, it takes time to discover what food would be satisfying. At the height of my dieting days I would say “just tell me what I must eat, I don’t want to think about it”. When I stopped dieting and began eating hard cheese instead of fat free cottage cheese and full cream Greek yoghurt again, my taste buds exploded!
If you are unsure what you would find satisfying, start by eliminating foods you know for sure you DO NOT enjoy. And then think about the sensory aspects of food. You could treat this as a culinary adventure. Ask yourself what taste would you like: savoury, salty, spicy or sweet, or perhaps a combination? What texture would be pleasurable: crunchy, creamy, chewy? Do you feel like eating something cold, warm or hot? Would you like the food to be hearty or light and fresh? Discovering the gifts of pleasure and satisfaction in food is a mind – body – heart experience.
Let’s look at some factors that reduce enjoyment from the eating experience:
Food Rules
Rules lead to feelings of guilt, which don’t go well with pleasure! We’ve been conditioned through dieting to fear pleasure from food. I remember hearing “can something so delicious be good for you?”
The “Food Police” in your mind
If your mind is chattering about how “bad” or “naughty” food is you’ll feel so guilty that you can’t experience satisfaction. Sharing a meal with people who are critical about food choices detracts from the eating experience and diminishes your pleasure in eating.
“We will not be healthier, both psychologically and physically about food until we learn to love it more, not less (…) with a relaxed, generous, unashamed emotion. In the process, it may be that we will have to redefine fundamentally the concept of “eating well”.
Michelle Stacey – Consumed: Why Americans Love, Hate and Fear Food
Distracted eating
We say we love food, but how often do you find yourself eating like it’s a chore? Racing to finish so we can tick off the next thing on our to-do lists? Eating on the go and in a rush? If you are busy answering emails while you eat, your meal will be finished and you won’t remember where it’s gone. Think about it, how do we show up with things and people we love? We give them our TIME and ATTENTION. What would it be like if you gave eating your time and attention?
Environment
What does the area where you eat look like?
Cluttered and messy? Is it noisy? Do you eat standing up at the counter? Are you busy with other activities while you eat? Scrolling through your phone, reading emails on your computer, watching TV or driving?
Hunger and Fullness
If you let yourself get uncomfortably hungry, you will probably rush through your meal in a panic. The ideal is to be gently hungry to get maximum satisfaction. Aim to stop at a point where you feel comfortable and satisfied. When eating something delicious, it can be difficult to stop, especially if you have been deprived of enjoyable foods.
Discovering satisfaction from food is not a perfect process. Let’s face it, there will be times you are rushed and you need to work and eat at the same time. There will also be times when you eat past a comfortable level of fullness. It’s okay. There’s no such thing as a “perfect eater”.
Take a moment to reflect on a memorable food experience:
Where were you?
Who was with you?
Were you hungry?
How was the atmosphere?
How long did the meal last?
How much pleasure and satisfaction did you get from the food?
How much joy did you get from the setting or the people?
How could you bring aspects of this memory into your daily life?
I invite you to try a food experiment to discover the “gifts of pleasure” from a meal:
- Ask yourself what you truly feel like eating.
- Allow yourself to experience some gentle hunger.
- Set the scene in your home.
- Set the table and use the good crockery. Maybe eat outside?
- Put on music. Light a candle. A flower in a vase?
- Make the entire experience as enjoyable as you can.
- You could even try having the first three bites in silence.
- Pay attention to the sensory aspects of eating.
- Let go of criticism and guilt (as best you can).
- End the meal when you feel you’ve had enough.
I love to hear from you, please share your experiences!
Wishing you peace and pleasure from food!
All my best,
Xen
✨ Do you want to stop the incessant food noise and learn to find food satisfying? Are you ready to heal your relationship with food?
✨ Book a free 30 minute mini-session.
✨ Check out the Food Freedom Group course.
Here is what Karen J had to say about our work together:
“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It’s changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”
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“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”
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