The Intuitive Eater's Holiday Bill of Rights

Filed Under: Holiday Eating

22 December 2021 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

As we approach Christmas and the festivities with all the talk and focus on food. The Christmas table overflows with special foods that only come out at this time of the year. These foods may invoke happy memories. Unfortunately for many of us, the Christmas table is also full of diet talk or you might feel uncomfortable eating around others.

Here are your rights to let go of guilt around holiday eating so that you can enjoy this special time and be at peace with food AND yourself!

Evelyn Tribole, co-author of Intuitive Eating, has kindly allowed me to share this with you…

Consider your Intuitive Eating Bill of Rights, as we enter the holiday season, to help you foster inner peace with food, mind and body.

  1. You have the right to savor your meal, without cajoling or judgment, and without discussion of calories eaten or the amount of exercise needed to burn off said calories.
  2. You have the right to enjoy second servings without apology.
  3. You have the right to honor your fullness, even if that means saying “no thank you” to dessert or a second helping of food.
  4. It is not your responsibility to make someone happy by overeating, even if it took hours to prepare a specialty holiday dish.
  5. You have the right to say, “No thank you,” without explanation, when offered more food.
  6. You have the right to stick to your original answer of “no”, even if you are asked multiple times. Just calmly and politely repeat “No, thank you, really.”
  7. You have the right to eat pumpkin pie for breakfast.
  8. You have the right to feel less than “cheerful” no matter what others are saying about the ‘true spirit’ of the holiday season. You have the right to honor your true feelings and respond to them with compassion.” – Rebecca Galla
  9. “Not right now thanks but maybe later” works really well to appease the pushy host/hostess. If there isn’t a “later” then remind yourself that there is tomorrow and you won’t perish today.” – Tracy Stoker
  10. “You have a right to notice how your body responds to different foods and to eat foods that look good, taste good and make you FEEL GOOD.” – Latoya J. Williams
  11. “You have the right to share your inner peace with food, without judgement! Others may just even be jealous!” – Kathryn Fink
  12. “You have the right to enjoy your food immensely even if a loved one with food challenges is present.” – Becky Henry
  13. “You have the right not to participate in diet/weight talk.” – Judith Matz
  14. “You have the right to eat others’ forbidden foods without feeling guilty.”– Jaime Fenton
  15. “You have the right to say a graceful “Thank you” when someone compliments you without denying their comment or putting yourself down.” – Sumner Brooks, MPH, RD, CSSD
  16. And Elyse Resch, co-author of Intuitive Eating offers this gem: “You have the right to feel the painful feelings that may come up at holiday time and to ask for support from someone safe.”
  17. As Evelyn Tribole says: “Remember, no one, except for you, knows how you feel, both emotionally and physically. Only you can be the expert of your body, which requires inner attunement, rather than the external, well-meaning, suggestions from family.”

Used with permission. Copyright © 2010 by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD Published at www.IntuitiveEating.org

My additions:

  1. “You have the right to eat any food your like without feeling the need to justify your choices.”
  2. “You have the right to feel overfull without feeling guilty”.
  3. “You have the right to eat cookies for breakfast”
  4. “You have the right to gently remove yourself from a place or space if the conversation is triggering.”
  5. “You have the right to eat whatever you want, however much you want, whenever you want without explanation.”
  6. “You have the right to be kind to yourself no matter what!”

Rights to Reproduce: You may reproduce this post, as long as you leave it unchanged, you don’t charge for it, and you include the entire copyright statement. Please let us know you have used it by sending a website link or an electronic copy to Etribole@gmail.com.

Wishing you joy and peace with food this season!

Xen

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating